Holy mother of pearl! Have you seen this latest webGASM from (I can only assume) from the collective mind of Ricky and the noted blogger.

Oh lawdy, where do I even start? ROFL

Ok. First off, somebody should google-bomb this site so that words like pablum, and placebo, and panacea all re-direct to it. Because that’s all this site offers. Empty platitudes (oooh! we can google-bomb it with that word too!) and paeans to … but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s take this suckah on, menu item by menu item, shall we?

The Home Page.

Basic web design common sense dictates that the home page should be as useful as possible, unless you’re an artsy type whose fans appreciate the sparse lines of minimalist glamour-sites. If you’re a government official, tho’ and you’re not really shelling out your own money to make yerself look good, then with even more reason why self-aggrandizement can take second place to utility.

Take Obama – obviously Noynoy’s model – and his website. Both Obama’s and Noynoy’s websites have huge rotating images for the splash page. But where Obama’s pictures are working shots of a working president, Noy’s pictures almost look posed. The difference may be subtle, but it is significant. Obama’s pictures tell the reader that this site is about how the President works for you. Noy’s sends a different message: this site is about Noy. Cultish much?

Under the big pictures, below the fold as it were, the differences between the two websites becomes even more pronounced. Noy’s site contains three portal-ish sections: My Cabinet, Panata sa Pagbababgo, and Transparent Government.

My Cabinet is nothing more than a picture of the official family and a listing of the various departments – and links to those departments – opposite the names of the current secretaries.

Panata sa Pagbabago is just like the old Ako Mismo website where all you really do is provide variations – preferably in a life- and positivity-affirming way – on the theme “Panata sa Pagbabago.”

Transparent Government, on the other hand, tells you that

P-Noy wants to hear from you. Ibahagi ang iyong mga saloobin kung paano mas magiging bukas at tapat ang ating gobyerno.

Ooooh. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. And it makes me want to write Santa a letter! Oh, wait. I meant Noynoy.Of course, the page only displays the requests and the pleas and the rants, with no indication at all of the action taken. Well, there is one button that leads you to propaganda press-releases, but no serious responses to the whining. But then again, so far, there aren’t many whines yet. Just lotsa raves about all those small grand gestures that Filipinos love. Like the President getting down from his car and peering down at clogged esteros.

How’s that for useful?

Contrast Obama’s whitehouse.gov website. On the front page alone, you can access the Briefing Room – which contains information about Obama’s latest public statements, including proclamations, EOs, and Press Releases; the Administration – in which we are introduced to the various key people working in the admin, such as the Vice-President (Binay’s shadow never even darkened Noy’s website); the White House – which acts as a sort of civic education site inasmuch as it gives the rundown on the history of the White House and how to become a part of the White House internship program; and Our Government – a more hard core civic education website that explain the basic structure of the government, among other things.

And all of that accessible from just the top navigation bar.

Below the pictures, you see sections like the Blog – that expands the narrative of the Obama administration in a decidedly less formal way; the White House Schedule – that tells you where Obama and Biden will be that week (which, incidentally, does more for transparency than Noy’s feedback form and propaganda articles); and my personal favorite, Featured Legislation – which presents the main legislative thrusts of the administration.

All of a sudden, Noynoy’s website looks like an amateurish operation. What bites is that, as bad as it is, that website is still the product of an outfit that has two Cabinet-level secretaries at the head of it.


Tito Noy.

And speaking of amateurish, holy mother of maudlin morons! The Tito Noy page is a slide show that exhorts people to Respect the Flag (idiotic because the colors are wrong, and – the noted blogger should have taken offense at this – the flag’s proportions are wrong too. Will the NHI raise a hullabaloo now?); Say “po” and “opo;” Always be on Time (again, idiotic because the website, despite the hype, was not launched on time); Study Hard; Turn the Lights Off When Not In Use; and – wait for it – EAT FRUITS AND VEGETABLES! All done in kindergarten, badly photoshopped, info-graphics.

This section tells me either of two things: that Noy and his people think that Filipinos are children that can be addressed so condescendingly; or that Filipinos are indeed children who deserve to be talked to condescendingly.

Disappointment

I don’t know what the Communications group’s gameplan is, but as of this moment – 45 days in – their game sucks balls. They have to ditch this amateur bullcrap and up the ante real soon. The web is such an awesomely powerful tool for communication. More and more Filipinos look to the web for usable information – timely, relevant, and accurate. We need for Malakanyang to use the web as thoughh they were trying to reach out to intelligent individuals, rather than talking to drooling idiots that need to be addressed with ginormous fonts and bright colors.

We appreciate the effort at frontloading feedback mechanisms, but please, try to do it in a way that we can see that our feedback does something rather than just ending up on a bulletin board for people to ogle and go “oooh, this government listens to us.” Because having comments cluttering up the message boards does not equate to feedback.

As for your efforts at transparency, what wiki-crappy-pedia are you using as a reference? Posting everybody’s whines isn’t transparency. If you think that transparency means acknowledging what people say about your administration, well then you’re wrong. The criticisms, the whines, and the gripes are there whether or not there is an official graffiti wall.

Since you talk to us like we’re kindergarten kids, let me talk to you the same way.

Feedback and transparency means we tell you what you did wrong, then you tell us what you did about it, so we can tell you what you’re still doing wrong, and so on and so forth until we drop the topic. Got that?

Oh and, please, drop the Tito Noy page. I mean seriously. How the fuck can you tell people to eat their vegetables when the President unashamedly and unrepentantly stuffs cancer sticks in his face all day long.